Morbidly Obese: My Opening Reflection: August 30, 2016

My opening
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If you are morbidly obese (MO) and are in the midst of a reasonable thought period, I was today, you know you are walking or most likely sitting away your final days.

Why? You know your heart is over working overtime; pumping more blood and is probably enlarged if you are MO. You know that muscle atrophy will worsen. You can barely walk and your range of motion continues to diminish with each day of declined activity. You may be aware that poor nutrition is compounding all your ills. You probably miss the days when you felt really clean because you can no longer shower daily and you relish those few occasions when you have the strength and energy to stand up long enough to get all the many parts of you clean and dry.

You own many diet books or life plan books or subscribe to countless support sites and maybe even blogs like this one.

But each day you make the same poor choices. You get that frappe or bug a family member for cookies or other contributions to your death dealing self-destructive lifestyle.

You make yourself promises each time you finished that chocolate treat. You say in your mind or perhaps out loud, "This is it! Starting tomorrow..." And, tomorrow the speech will be repeated.

You may be able to function in society at some level. You may be productive in many ways. You have fooled youself into thinking that this is where you are and you have learned to live with it so you will do what you can and not contiue to beat yourself up about it.

You know this is a lie. You don't want to be MO. You look at television shows of people who are much more out of control than you. You wonder why you look at these shows. Do you feel their pain? Or, do you feel that you are not as seriously disabled by MO as they are so there is still hope? You are going to be okay. But, if you continue this way, you won't be okay. You are not okay.

You often look down at your fat belly as you tuck fresh paper towels under it or your clothing to avoid getting moisture accumulation which leads to rashes or rawness and say to yourself, "If I am able to all these things to cope with my MO, why won't I work to defeat it."

It is the enemy. You are your enemy. No one is making you use food to cope with using food to cope. You are making no sense. For the moment, you park your thoughts.

The next reoccurring line of thought is: I am going to do something about this; I have to make changes. You make an unrealistic plan for the next day or week. Even if you devise a reasonable plan, you find excuses and ways to self-sabotage. What will you do? Because if you don't something immediately, you will continue this walk to a premature death.

To the reader....
Do share any of these feelings? Before we get to strategy, let's talk about how we feel and why we think we do what we do. I suffer from MO and I want out. This is my only qualification. I am hoping to record my thoughts in the AM and PM and hear from others to help us make changes.

Your turn...
Tell me how do you feel?